Groom Wedding Speech

So i’d love to hear any kind of advise, tell me what’s funny what’s not, I don;t care about grammar mistakes only I’ll be seeing this anyway. (The names were changed to protect the privacy of the bride and groom). Here it is:

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lauren, our gorgeous bride’s little sister. In all my research for this speech (in other words, googling, “Maid of honor Speeches” about a hundred times) everything says to give the bride and groom some advice about being newlyweds. Now I don’t know what you guys thing, but in my opinion advice about marriage from your very unmarried 16 year old sister is about the worst advice you’ll ever get. But the next thing all these websites said was to have a nice story about how you met and how perfect you guys are for each other. so here it goes, when Sarah and Chuck got back together in 2008 it was obvious that no one and nothing would keep them from being in love. Not because they were so obvious about how much in they love they really were, but because they were so respectful to each other. They didn’t have to prove that they were in love by being so in your face about it, because of how natural it was. So it was a slippery slope from the time Beth came home on cloud nine with the text from chuck asking to see her again. I think we still have the wedding magazines that Sarah bought the very next day. So less than 2 years later the house started filling with wedding things again; only this time Sarah wasn’t the only one buying it. Now it was from all the guests sitting here today. Sarah’s room became so packed with wedding stuff that 3 weeks ago Sarah had to move into my room. What a fun 3 weeks it was. But I did get a little piece of advice for Chuck from these three weeks of being roomies. No matter what, DO NOT wake her up in the morning. Even if she’ll lose her job, don’t worry about it. She can get a new job, but you can’t get a new head. She’ll saying things to you that she wouldn’t normally even think fully awake. She’ll throw things, call you names, kick and scream. But don’t file for divorce just yet, because the minute she’s out of bed and fully awake, she’ll be happy as can be. She denies ever saying or doing anything. It’s been this way for as long as I can remember. Anyway, to close this thing up, I just want to say thank you Phill and Sarah for being such an amazing example to me in your courtship, so maybe one day I’ll actually have some good advice for newlyweds. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for; goodbye!